curtain calls

Back to reality.

2012-01-29T04:51:00.000-08:00

School is starting again tomorrow. Aish bye Chinese New Year. Time flies when you're having fun. I miss all my friends already. I miss how Adeline would be "eksen cute", but I meet her everyday in school so who cares. I'll miss how Velen would be so bimbo about everything. I'll miss how Eli would say "kanji". I'll miss how Nick would say "hey what's that on your face" when he spots a zit. I'll miss the way Clinton drove that time and that face he makes when tried to swallow his Big Mac. I'll miss how Jessven would say "Hey angel, you duh sexy." I'll miss how Victor would be all ghetto. And you, Aaron... I'll just miss YOU. Haha you know it's true.

Here's to the pathetic, boring, sad life in school.

EOF ;)

2012-01-27T05:05:00.000-08:00

Some people: Ask Tracy lah. She kan your best friend?

Adeline: NO. She's not my best friend. She's my Extra-ordinary friend.

2012-01-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

He loves me anyway :)

2012-01-26T03:29:00.000-08:00

LOVE CAN WAIT :)

thinking maturely?

2012-01-24T19:55:00.000-08:00

"stop acting like you're so innocent.."

"pembulak!"

"what a b*."

"aiyer.. so hiao eh."

-words i'm hearing since the first day of the year.

I'm not offended, really =)

You know, if you tell me that 10 years ago, I would have shoved my fist up your throat 'til you could taste my armpit. But no, I'm not the old Tracy you knew anymore. Of course, I am sad. Hearing all these around me... My world seems to crumble in and everything. Yes, I wouldn't put the blame on anyone. Because right now, I'm not gonna judge anyone. I'm not gonna say I'm right and you're wrong. I'm not gonna defend myself or fight back. No, that was the old me. Whatever you think of me, of who I was or am, it's your rights. I can't stop people from talking, neither can I stop them from thinking. I'm fine, you know, if you wanna go in front of me and tell me how much you hate me, how much you despise my existence, you can. It's not wrong. People gotta express their feelings sometimes. But after that, promise me one thing, that we'll stay friends. Who are we to not forgive each other when even God Himself forgives His people?

God bless you :)

In the final analysis, it is between YOU and GOD.

It was never between YOU and THEM anyway.

-Mother Teresa-

Clueless.

2012-01-22T20:04:00.000-08:00

I seriously don't know what to do.

A wise word from a friend,

"Maybe you're just scared because for once, somebody actually wants to be with you."

oh gosh..

Fearless

2012-01-21T02:00:00.000-08:00

Because it's that unresolved feelings again.

Pushing people away again.

And all you ever wanna do is being on your own, your own way,
busying about your future.

Way to go, Tracy.

2012-01-18T01:34:00.000-08:00

School has started for three weeks already. It was a lot of stress I might say. I shouldn't get too stressed out la, *sigh* . Planning for a lot of stuff but still, I'm haunted by the pressure of SPM. No procrastination & everything. My future will be determined by stacks of paper. Gah. But good news! It's holiday on Friday! Chinese New Year is coming! But not so good news is, I'll be house arrested and drowned with books. Bummer. You know, I still can't get over what happened on Sunday. Only some will get it ;)

I wonder if you'd ask me to prom.

Maybe I just wonder too much.

2012-01-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

Been hanging out a lot these two days. Amazing how many great memories could be squeezed in just two days. It started yesterday actually after morning Mass. Adeline & I wanted to do our Moral projects but yeah, killing two birds with one stone, y'know? I'm so glad how I can get back those good old days with these people again :) and new friends too!

If I put all the details here, it'll take ages.

I'm not really a jiwang person, but when I do, it's not really that jiwang but this is just one of those times when I wanna talk about my love life. Wait, I don't have a love life. Just... never mind. One thing I learned y'know, is that, I AM NOT CHEAP. Guys can't just say "I like you" & expect I'll say I like them too in return. That just hurt y'know. Not that I want them to really like me, but you know, it just feels like, am I that cheap to be treated like that? My experience in love, may not be enough for me to really talk about it but yeah. Another thing I learned, is that,

"Jangan kanji."

-Eli & Nick.

2012-01-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna make it through the rain.

2012-01-08T05:33:00.000-08:00

"Don't even blame yourself for this."

-him-

;)

hollow void.

2012-01-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

Passed by the church today. Sat on the staircase. Can't believe that was the exact same spot where we talked for the first time, 4 years ago. I wonder if you still remember, or I'm just bertepuk sebelah tangan. I'm guessing the day when we used to be just friends who understood each other completely, cliche as it might sound, it's gone. Remember when we used to promise each other not to be one of those best friends who used to share everything for years & the next thing you know, we don't even say "Hi" to each other? Well guess what? We broke the promise.

I'm supposed to write about "My Best Friend" for my ULBS. My mind went straight to you. But I guess, if I were to write about you, I'll be cheating myself huh? It's a brand new year, brand new subjects, brand new friends. But there's one thing that will never be brand new; our friendship. I'm guessing if you're not gonna make any move about it, I'll do it. Like I always did. Even if I'll end up being syok sendiri. That's how much I value you & our friendship =)

I love you 'cause when I sing, only you can hear the song.

Senior Year.

2012-01-04T03:01:00.000-08:00

"Ee Tracy, kenapa online ni? SPM oi, belajar2."

To you.

2012-01-03T02:51:00.000-08:00

You with thesad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to takecourage
In a world full ofpeople
You can lose sightof it all
And the darknessinside you
Can make you feelso small

But I see your truecolors
Shining through
I see your truecolors
And that's why Ilove you
So don't be afraidto let them show
Your true colors arebeautiful,
Like a rainbow.

Show me a smilethen,
Don't be unhappycan't remember
Can’t remember whenI last saw you laughing
If this world makesyou crazy
And you've takenall you can bear
You call me up
Because you knowI'll be there

That Gregorian Chant really opened my eyes for who you are.

Don't be insecure anymore! Love yourself for being different yet amazing.

For that day that deserved & worth to be written here =)

2012-01-03T02:31:00.000-08:00

So, remember when I said something about 2nd January? Well, never mind if you don't.

Well, it was Bishop Anthony's 46th Priesthood Anniversary and guess what? We were doing a short drama based on his life and believe me when I said it was a huge relief after it's done, it WAS a huge relief. Ever since caroling, I've been hearing "Tracy, make sure it's the highlight of the day." Only Valen will get this.

While I was away for a week, I was so worried about them back here in Miri. But then well, the beauty of communication, thanks to skype, I was glad everything was fine. Glad everybody especially Bishop liked it. Never seen Bishop as happy as that before. He danced the Chicken Dance and it was the cutest thing I ever witnessed. HAHA

It was a good start to the year. There was an inflatable playhouse for maximum 10 kids but I ended up going in. Adeline joined too and everyone started saying that we represent the 10 kids already. Well some 17 years old we are. Who cares? Jumping up & down inside there and phew! The stress literally went away. I met those munchkins too! And then we played the water gun. Played the bubbles. Played the puppies. Played the clown head that Jessven ended up dancing on the road wearing it 'cause Aunty promised him RM100 if he really dared. Played the canopy to drop water on it. We were all soaked.

Then we went to Tudan Chapel for a meeting. Well, it was a meeting. Okay then we went to my house! Yay! Watching movies and just hanging out before school starts, you know.. And that was the most fun I've had. We don't get to do that everyday again after this. MYCS ROCKS, man!

Grateful for the friends. Grateful for everything.

~~Grateful for the gift ;)~~

Him.

2011-12-31T07:15:00.000-08:00

“Summary of my 2011”

He who's been with me throughout this year. Who often I asked for help whenever everything is falling apart. Whenever I made mistakes. He who listens. He who understands. He who gives me peace when I'm restless. Who often I abandon but never abandoned me. Not even once. He who brings me back whenever I go astray. He who sees me the way I am. He who knows my real self. Who wouldn't judge me. He who guided me. He who helped me even in the utter most challenge I've ever faced. He who held my hand wherever I go. Who would tell me to not give up when everyone does not believe that I can do it. Who when I cry at night, would be there crying too. He who tells me not to hate and pass judgements. He who tells me not to be afraid to fall but be afraid to not try. He who tells me that time in Spain when I almost gave up & broke down after few frustrating moments, "You came here to be closer to me. Guess what? I am here." He who before my performance in Perak, told me "I'll act with you. Just follow my lead." He who told me after a hectic day in Caroling, "Why are you crying? I wouldn't cry if I were you. Caroling is to bring joy to other people about me. So why aren't you joyful?" He who's always there even when I didn't call. When even after I hurt Him, always forgives me.

He,

My Best Friend & my Hero .

Mung guang sinh!

2011-12-26T17:31:00.001-08:00

Okay, so. I'm in Ho Chi Minh. Sitting in hotel lobby after sending my big bro & sis to the taxi. They're goin back to Malaysia while I'm still here with my parents & my another bro. 4 days to go then I'll be back. I miss Miri T.T I miss everyone there. Was hoping to spend Christmas with them, but oh well God has another plan for me. Spending Christmas with family isnt that bad after all. I have a big family and it's so much fun and laughter and joy. Believe it or not, we went to Christmas eve's Mass that day and we need TICKETS to get in! Like whaat?! Go Mass also need ticket ha? There are so many people going to Mass and they only have a church; the Notre Dame Cathedral. Beautiful ancient church with breathtaking architecture. People here take Christmas seriously. I mean they don't use cars, they use motorcycles. The only cars you get to see here are taxis. Other than that, no. Even crossing the roads, it took us 15 minutes. Wow.. Busy busy city. Alright, sorry for ranting here. I'm just really bored :)

Munchkins.

2011-12-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

My fault also for fighting back. Now what? ~~Sendiri menyesal. Sendiri menangis~~ after reading the harsh words. I mean, I just membuta tuli took the stupid action. When somebody, or in this case, 10 people blaming you for everything, don't straight fight back. Lift it all up to the Lord. It's not your job to fight back. My fault also for not looking into my own perspective. It's all so messed up now.. But I will solve it. Oh I will. "May God bless you" will be the right thing to say after this :)

Anyways, the caroling team went to our house yesterday night. I was so hapcited (happy + excited). We played around and had a good laugh there, for the first time ever I have that many friends coming to my house! That sounds so forever alone.. *shrugs* Ah, my last night in caroling. Supposed to be tomorrow, which is the last day of caroling. But dad decided to take us to vacation earlier. Speaking of vacation, I'm really excited to spend my Christmas with family in another country. It has been a long time since I last met my dad and my big brother. And it has been awhile too since we have vacation. Will let you people know bout it soon ;)

Gotta try not to judge after this, then.

And by the way, if I move, Miri will miss so much fun.

Just sayin'.

"Everyone is Jesus in a distressing disguise."

-Mother Teresa

not givin' up just yet.

2011-12-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

Greater things have yet to come,

Greater things are still to be done.

aie, kenaqx kawu?

2011-12-18T23:41:00.000-08:00

House-to-house caroling started last Wednesday. I was excited when mum agreed to have the carolers to come to our house again. This time, I'm preparing treats for all them. They deserve it! I was thankful for everything seems to be going well for 5 days already. Another 5 more awesome days to go! 5 more days to be permy ucak HAHA. Ade's house is the last house later, I am exci-freaking-ted!!

Next stop, 2nd January. I will do my best.
Will let you people know bout it soon ;)

2011-12-15T23:58:00.000-08:00

I feel grumpy today.

wake-up call.

2011-12-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

If you think you are unhappy..

If you think your salary is low..

If you think you don't have any friends..

When you feel like giving up..

If you think you suffer in life, do you think you suffer as much as he does?

If you complain about your transport system..

If your society is unfair..

and just to share something with y'all..

I hope this will slap you hard as hard as it did on me.

2011-12-12T04:39:00.000-08:00

I gotta accept that the worst do happen sometimes. And I have to be well-prepared. Today has taught me that.

Albeit, the best is still yet to come.

"I am not worthy to untie His sandal strap"

2011-12-11T00:18:00.001-08:00

We again light the candle of hope and love. Today we add the pink (rose) candle of joy. Prophecy has been fulfilled. The long awaited Messiah has come. J.O.Y is the mood of all earnest seekers :)

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord"

Luke 1:46

O sole mio

2011-12-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't stress myself too much. I mean, I do have reasons to be stressed out. I could flip even on a small thing. That wasn't my usual self, to be pissed off over a very tiny nano thing. But I guess stress got the best out of me. I even pushed my own family away, my friends.. *sigh* I feel so guilty. But I'm glad they understand, thank God for creating such wonderful people in my life. Christmas bazaar is happening later, and the band is performing. Also the caroling team. I'm freaking out. Caroling is only 6 days away. So many things need to be done. So little time. But you know what...

Adeline is coming back today! :)

Everlasting.

2011-12-06T02:46:00.001-08:00

A thousand times I failed, still your mercy remains;

Should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace.

The way I see it.

2011-12-04T02:40:00.001-08:00

What is love?

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?

- it isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off them, am I right?

- it isn't love, it's lust.

Are you proud and eager to show them off?

- it isn't love, it's pride.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

- it isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because you know what everyone wants?

- it isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you or held your hand?

- it isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love because you don't want to hurt them?

- it isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?

- it isn't love, it's infatuation.

Do you pardon your faults because you care about them?

- it isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the one you think of?

- it isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favourite things for their sake?

- it isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart break and ache when they're sad?

- then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

- then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?

- then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and hold you there?

- then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?

- then it's love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?

- then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

Just think about it for a second.

thank YOU for this.
you're incredible ;)

2011-12-03T19:22:00.001-08:00

I so the tired.. D: but it was worth it. I don't recall having a single day off right since school stopped. I so the want to rest. But never mind lah, bukan selalu pun. Parade was awesome. It rained so heavily our lyrics were all soaked that in the end we just screamed/singing Feliz Navidad non-stop until we reached the final point. Goodness me. I almost gave up when the rain fell, I was like.. "malas lah want to parade..dah la hujan" But then I was like.. Wait a minute. I'm doing this for God, why would I give up on that? Seriously it was a wake up call.

This comes to pass... when a child is born :)

Delaney Brown.

2011-12-01T06:21:00.001-08:00

He's just a fictional character in Nora Roberts' book but why am I falling for him?

*forever alone*

pros & cons.

2011-11-29T06:20:00.001-08:00

At first I was like..

Then after few appointments with my Father, I'm like..

2011-11-27T04:03:00.001-08:00

There's so much beauty in Your name

So many reasons why I sang

So many melodies; so many songs to sing

'Cause You are so Beautiful.

There aren't enough words to describe

How much You love me changed my life

I bring You an offering; I bring You a song to sing

You are so beautiful.

BBTB

2011-11-26T03:44:00.001-08:00

I may not have always gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have always ended up where I needed to be.

Haih.. :/

2011-11-23T22:07:00.001-08:00

Everyone seems to have it all figured out. About what they're going to do, how their life will be in 10 years time & all they gotta do now is just to strive for the dream and make it happen. That left me, with nowhere else to go. I don't know.. At first, I thought I had all figured out. The amusing thought of being a pediatrician, helping those little ones and also I would never have any trouble about doctor-patient thing. Hahahahaha! (you guys didn't get it, didn't you?) But right now, I'm not so sure anymore.. I mean, it's not the matter of not wanting, but it's just that I can't have it. Haih, why is it that when you figure out that you can't have something, you want it even more?

Guess that means I have to strive harder than anyone else, although my chances are as thin as bulimia barbies. Sucks, ain't it? Now that reminds me of what Fr. John Amsberry shared the other day: I always thought that before priesthood, in ten years time I would get married and have kids. But I never listened to God. And look what happened to me when I finally did! I'm a priest!

Oh God, I'm trying to hear You but the silence is so loud.

2011-11-21T18:30:00.001-08:00

I do want these, but not now.

Tracy is a tad bit old today.

2011-11-20T06:37:00.001-08:00

You sent me Your Holy Spirit; the mutual love between The Father and The Son.

And that was the best birthday present I could ever receive :)

2011-11-19T02:54:00.001-08:00

To-do list on the last day of being fifteen.

Forgive
Forgive
Forgive

and forgive.

As usual.

Forever independent much? ;D

I am loved.

2011-11-18T02:41:00.000-08:00

What heights of love, what depths of peace?

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.

My Comforter, my All in all;

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Blessed by The Best,

Tracy Jantom.

Let it snow let it snow let it snowwww

2011-11-15T02:17:00.001-08:00

It's a beautiful day, isn't it? The Sun came up a little bit too early today for me to squint catching its ray through the chink of my pink unwashed for two months curtain and snuggling back under the duvet thinking, HAA IT'S HOLIDAY! So what did I do today? Hmm, let's see. I ran to the bathroom and took a long long warm shower surrounded by my favourite lavender scent shampoo and put on my sweat shirts & pants and ready for breakfast! Walked to the kitchen and found out nobody's at home so I grab a bowl and shoved my mouth with Kellogs & Oreos. And not to forget semi-skimmed milk. Perfect. Breakfast's done and went out to the patio grabbing few Nora Roberts' and sipping my tea like a boss! Now when can I get times like these if it's not holiday?

One of the saddest part of my life is keeping myself busy and pushing myself to the limit all day. And when I got home, lying in bed.. I'll discover that after all I've done to forget, I'm still in that very same position I'm trying to escape. You know the forever alone thing I always say? Nobody really likes to be alone, so am I. I should just change that word to forever independent. That would sound more classy and me. *grinning with twinkling teeth*

No strings attached.

I almost forgot how it feels like :)

2011-11-13T23:14:00.001-08:00

"I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me."

I know it's tough right now, Tracy.

You're not a weakling and you're never gonna be.

You hear me?

superman.

2011-11-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

If I could be a superman,

I'd fly you to the stars and back again

'Cause every time you touch my hand

and feel my powers through your veins.

'Cause I'm no superman,

I hope you like me as I am :)

urgh. whatever happened to us? Sorry, N.

Silver lining.

2011-11-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

After all the blood, sweats & tears..

TADAA!!

Finally got myself one. Imma do even better next year.

Amen :)

2011-11-08T05:36:00.000-08:00

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless.

Who are we to judge.

2011-11-08T05:30:00.000-08:00

I got to babysit today! Primary school kids came. I guess we did our best though in our booth. First time experience speaking that loud in costume. *shudders* . But glad everyone loves the cookies. I mean like duhhhhhh. Of course they'll love the cookies. These are primary school kids we're talking bout. Thanks to the debate team for the cookies!! Sorry for stealing "few" amounts just now. *grins*

I learned something today. It was hard really, when you're with people. You tend to judge. I almost give in to temptation. I'm so disappointed with myself. I'll try to change, I promise. :)

Still missing the long lost Tracy.

Be-YOU-tiful :)

2011-11-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

I keep telling others, I'm forever alone.

Yes, maybe I am.

And yes, let it be for now.

_____________________________________________

A lot of things have been accomplished and thank God for the experiences. I need a break, desperately. But this is the last week of school so I won't give up that early. This is my last school holiday. The next school holiday, I'll be having the dread-fear SPM and finally graduating. Double wow.

I've had enough of giving away chances. I know I push people away nowadays. I'm sorry.

Hallelujah.

2011-10-31T17:30:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to thank God for.
But why did I always fail successfully on that part?

I'm still here in Kanowit, Sibu. Taking a break after a hectic day in kitchen just now, finally. There's a thankgiving Mass here at our house, led by Reverend Father Henry, a Phillipino. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see the priest from Kenya. But maybe I still have the chance tomorrow in church for the All Saints' Day Mass. The thanksgiving Mass was for my uncle who, unbelievably, survived from level 4 colon cancer. Never give up on God and that's what you will get :)

There are 3 priests here in Kanowit, specially sent here cause this place is in the outskirts of Sibu town. The priests are from America, Kenya & Phillipines. I'm quite inspired by how opened their hearts are to travel far away from home for the love of Christ. And did I mention how fluent can they speak Iban language? Yep, that's how big their sacrifices are, willing to learn a foreign language which is very far from their league just to preach to all the people here about the loving God.

To-do list before twenty days from now:

Be like these Soldiers of Christ & a better instrument of God :)

Happy birthday, best friends :)

2011-10-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

I miss you, Canada :P Come back fast.

And you, lol I got nothing to say.

Both of you are awesome. And you should know it.

If not I wouldn't waste my time posting this. =)

I heart you both.

2011-10-25T00:17:00.000-07:00

You should never tell a girl that she hurt you, you idiot.

Because she's feeling vulnerable and yet she still wants to make things right,

but with you saying all those things to her, how can you expect her to be with you again?

That's it, Tracy, maybe you should just stop and let it be.

Feisty, eh?

2011-10-24T00:25:00.000-07:00

Installation Mass was yesterday. I'm glad I got to overcome my fear of commentating in front of a VVIP to me. I was so scared I would stumbled upon the words "His Grace" to "Hishh Gresshh" or "Archbishop" to "Archbishorpss" . The night before, I didn't manage to get the words right. God was ever grateful, He helped me. Phew. Quite a shaky start at the beginning but then I went along, I might say, near-to-perfectly fine. Experience, Tracy, experience. But I got tons of comments saying how loud my voice was and how fierce I sounded. And how feisty I looked that I can be a CEO in a magazine company. (sorry got nothing to wear except that boyish blouse and editor skirt) Anyways, I was so happy we got installed by the Apostolic Delegate, the Pope's representative. Now that's just crazy. How great is our Heavenly Father's love for all of us :) A great start to the unfathomable journey that we'll have. Praying for the best for this new batch, I 'm pretty sure we can do it. 3 years of experience being with the MYCS, we always pulled it off at the end, although along the way we got "brushed", I would say, excessively. Hope this year, which would be my last year, under the leadership of Mr. Ian, we'll together face all through.

Lord, have mercy.

And now I'm still fighting for the battle that ends tomorrow: Finals.

Mathematics will do justice to me tomorrow. It will, because I said so.

2011-10-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

I may not be as good as you thought I was.

But you know what?

I'm trying my best here, *sigh*

LMDB.

2011-10-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

We'll face all these through together.

those people.

2011-10-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

I was checking my e-mail this morning and decided to go to Facebook for a while. I saw there's one message in my inbox so I opened it. Much to my surprise, I saw Fr. John Gerth's name and guess what?

" Yeah, people can be hurtful.

But they can only effect us so far as we let them.

Any friendship that makes us feel less as a person was not really a friendship at all.

Are you in school to have people like you or are you there to learn?

Life is for friendships... not school. "

" And think of this...

of those people who are stupid enough to not be nice to you in school...

how many of them know people in the USA who think they are the coolest person in Miri?

ONLY YOUU!! "

__________________________________________________

Never really thought of smiling today,

but thank God there's someone helping.

Now that.

Is a great way to start my day.

Adeline, Any, Velen, Malcolm, Clinton & Mark.

thanks for the help too.

I kumpul all your advice til

I manage not to break down anymore. =)

walk away..

2011-10-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that it's my fault we're like this. They say love won't last, I do believe it will but somehow what we had just didn't feel right. It is selfish for me to say that after all that you have done and not to mention, given. *sigh* . I know I will regret this someday but for now, I know I have to be strong too. And so do you. What we had, was wonderful. You taught me how to love, and feels the wonderful feeling to be in love although it lasted for only a year. Definitely a long period of time, and that's the point exactly. I can't continue lying towards myself and you any longer. We'll be fine, and we'll talk right?

Hmm, maybe.

Gah, I'm so horrible.

Just walk away, oh and don't look back

'cause if my heart breaks it's gonna hurt so bad.

You know I'm strong but I can't take that

Before it's too late, just walk away..

All the best & take good care.

I'm sure you'll be back someday and bring good news.

God bless, Capt.

Hope you'll find someone who'll appreciate you more than I do,

and who clearly deserve you more than I do.

To the infinity and beyond!

2011-10-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

Cold Friday morning, sitting here on the patio looking at my neighbour's dogs running outside the gate and barking at me. Such cute creatures they are. It's an off-day from Final exam. So far, it was gruesome. The Science papers were really cruel. Biology this Monday, and I'm crossing my fingers. Lots of ups & downs happened, but oh well. Gotta be that superwoman from now on since I'm gonna be sixteen soon enough.

Gambateh, Tracy!

gotta go my own way.

2011-10-14T03:37:00.000-07:00

I gotta say what's on my mind

Something about us doesn't seem right these days.

Life keeps getting in the way

Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearrange.

It's so hard to say but I gotta do what's best for me

You'll be okay.

I've got to move on and be who I am

I just don't belong here, I hope you understand.

We might find our place in this world someday.

But at least for now,

I gotta go my own way.

Don't wanna leave it all behind

But I get my hopes up, and I watch them fall every time.

Another colour turns to grey,

and it just too hard to watch it all, slowly fade away.

I'm leaving today, 'cause I gotta do what's best for me,

You'll be okay.

I've got to move on and be who I am

I just don't belong here, I hope you understand.

We might find our place in this world someday.

But at least for now,

I gotta go my own way.

I hope u will too.

ME NAME. ;D

2011-10-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Tracy is a female name. It is a very popular name since a long time. Some boys are also named as Tracy. It is pronounced as Tray-see. This name has Irish and Gaelic origins i.e. it has been derived from Ireland and Scotland. The meaning of this name is translated as "warlike" or "courageous". It is also considered as a nickname for Theresa which is a name with Greek origins and means "late summer". It is also a very popular English surname in English and it means "descendant of the fierce one".

Tracy is also the name of a city located in California, United States. It is based in the San Joaquin valley and is near Stockton. It is well known as a food processing centre and is involved in food production and glass making. It is growing city and has a population of 75,800 as per the 2005 census. This city is also known as the "Dry Bean Capital of the World".

p/s : no wonder.

2011-10-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

You appear just like a dream to me;

just like kaleidoscope colors that prove to me,

All I need, every breath that I breathe

Don't you know, you're beautiful.

2011-10-13T02:45:00.000-07:00

A year, 7 months, 22 days.

Somehow, we just managed to go this far.

I'm sorry.

Treasure.

2011-10-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

Hey girlfriend, thanks for being the best of friends could have been. You top off the charts, girl! Thank you for being there through thick & thin with me.

Blessed birthday.

God bless Adeline Chiew. ;D

Dooom.

2011-10-07T03:58:00.000-07:00

What am I to do?

I wanna talk to the closest friend ever, but she's really not that contact-able.
Another close friends, they're having SPM, don't want to put that much trouble to them.
Home? I'll be talking to myself then. Nobody's ever around.
Plus, mom is just too sick.

And yet, I feel like crap right now.
So, I just gotta do what I gotta do. (Which involves: eating, pillow screams & Nora Roberts' books.)

Reminds me so much of last year's October, it was hell back then.

Guess, I'll be having a frequent appointment with Him.

Xmas & Mom.

2011-10-05T04:39:00.000-07:00

It was almost Christmas time,

There I stood in another line.

Trying to buy that last gift or two,

Not really in a Christmas mood.

Standing right in front of me,

Was a little boy waiting anxiously;

Pacing around like little boys do.

And in his hand he held a pair of shoes,

And his clothes were worn and old;

He was dirty from head to toe.

And when it came his time to pay,

I couldn't believe what I heard him say;

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please,

It's Christmas eve and these shoes are just her size.

Could you hurry, Sir?

Daddy says there's not much time.

You see, she's been sick for quite a while,

And I know these shoes will make her smile.

And I want her to look beautiful,

If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

He counted pennies for what seems like years,

And cashier says, "Son, there's not enough here."

He searched his pockets frantically,

And he turned and looked at me,

He said Momma made Christmas good at our house,

Though most year she just did without.

Tell me, Sir, What am I gonna do?

Somehow, I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes.

So I laid the money down,

I just had to help him out.

And I'll never forget the look on his face when he said,

"Momma's gonna look so great!"

I knew I caught a glimpse of heaven's love as he thanked me and ran out.

I know that God has sent that little boy to remind me,

What Christmas is all about.

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please,

It's Christmas eve and these shoes are just her size.

Could you hurry, Sir?

Daddy says there's not much time.

You see, she's been sick for quite a while,

And I know these shoes will make her smile.

And I want her to look beautiful,

If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

I want her to look beautiful,

If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

Mom, I love you & please get well soon before Xmas.

Xmas without you won't be, Xmas.

Have you?

2011-10-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how you ended up here, right where you are right now?

I have. And seriously,

child do I wonder where would I have been if I wasn't born in this family.

What would I have done if I haven't joined any of the activities I'm joining.

What would I do without the girls.

Who would I be with without these people in my life.

What would I be doing if I haven't met him.

Where would I end up without knowing Him since I was born.

However I got here, I thought, it was exactly where I wanted to be.

18th's King ;)

2011-09-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks for looking out for me all the time.

Brothaa, you're the best!

Hey, siblings fight right? That's why we're that close 'til now.

What a blessing.

Loves,

A proud sis.

Ipoh Mali

2011-09-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Such a GRAND FINALE, thanks kickers.

Went to Ipoh last Monday for National Level English Drama Competition. Stayed in Hotel Seri Malaysia with 14 other drama teams all around Malaysia. I miss all of them already. Really miss those times especially when everyone went out from the rooms and went down to the hall to gather together and got to know each other. Playing and joking around, showing off dance skills, playing monopoly etc. etc. Everyone there were all oh so dramatic! Great to know there are people who have common interest like you do. Me gusta! First time going to Nationals, we seriously did not know what to do. Competition day, I was so nervous. Looking around, everybody looked so professional. Props were all so massive and costumes were ever so gorgeous. Looking at us, people from a tiny old town in Borneo, I thought, how could we compete with people like them? But, then, it slapped me. Everything that we had gone through, from Inter-school, State-level and now here we are. After all the sweat, blood and tears. So we went to that stage, giving everything we had, forgetting who we were and just be in our own character. And BAM, it's all over. We had to wait for the next day to know the results. So that day after competition, we went to Ipoh Parade and I ate all I want 'cos all the stress were over and I felt so good.

So then, the next day. Believe me, I totally lost hope after the "Best Actor", "Best Script", 2nd & 3rd place were announced. None of 'em were ours. We were disappointed and I was devastated cause my mind was set to, "if we don't get no.3, we will never get anything." Yep, that was shallow, wasn't it? Then, the emcee was like "Hmm, I like the title of this team's play, " and.. "TO.GET.HER from Sarawak!" and we just went ":O" for 2 seconds and jumped. I admit I cried, so hard. It all paid off. All those times being in drama, it all paid off. I was speechless, really. And we were given the, "bragging for one year" permission from everyone. ;D

Kickers. ;D

Congrats to other teams too! It was great meeting you guys. To King George, Negeri Sembilan & Taman Melawati, Selangor, Congrats for the 2nd and 3rd placing. You guys were awesome! Others too, everybody was really great and it's an honor being with you people. See ya again next year, eh? Sabah, wanna share bus again? ;)

SO WHAT?!

Kua-Meh? Productions.

Crazy for Jesus.

2011-09-19T05:38:00.000-07:00

Leadership Camp was over. Extremely tough. I mean, first, it was in Eastwood Valley so I did not know what to expect because normally it was in Mater Dei. First day, after registration we were asked to walk to the Longhouse Chalet; where we stayed. Then as soon as we got there, handphones were all taken and we were all like, stunned and gave the "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?" look. Then they asked us to do our own name tag. Everyone was rummaging for pins, hair clips, etc. So we were all divided into several rooms with four. Then went to the Belian Hall for ice breaking sessions led by Sister Rachel and was divided into 4 groups and I was in group 4. Won goodies for completing a lot of tasks. Yay! First day, basically, what we did was listening to talks. And by that, I mean, ~~excessive bomb-ing~~ also happened along the way.

The next day, luckily I managed to wake up. I guess 'cause I was too nervous, I woke up at 2.30am. Velentina, Grace & Brenda were still sleeping even when I showered at 4.30am. Then, after we woke everybody up, we got ready for the battle and they asked us to walk to the obstacles course place. Along the way, we marched and had to find our "babies". Then when we arrived there, of course, it was very hard. Over that period of time, teamwork was clearly important and I learnt so many things there. I know it's hard to be a leader, but once I experienced it, it was nothing a word could describe. Finished all that, went to lunch and packed and went to Belian Hall again and there was when it all happened. We performed a lot of things like, Indian dance, Belly dancing (apparently, my hips can't lie), being dinosaurs, being a cheated wife, etc.

Came to the end, new responsibilities waiting for us. Being a leader is to continue learning, and there's so many things I learned in just two days. Amazing.

"Preach through your ACTIONS. Use WORDS only if necessary."

- St. Francis of Asisi

Lord, how much do You love me?

2011-09-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

THIS MUCH.

Forgive and forget.

2011-09-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

Not quite an easy thing to do, eh? I know. It's rather painful when someone whom you called friend, well, best friend for quite some time, speaking craps behind you- typical teenagers problems, I know. It might not be easy to forget but sure enough, I'm able to forgive her because I still value her as my friend :)
Thanks Adeline Chiew Li Ying! You are still the best, you know that? I'm really glad we had the heart-to-heart session just now and talked about everything. It almost brought me to tears. You really are, The Best of The Best Friend in the universe. About "her", we just be calm lah, ok? Forgive her for what she did and we just be true to who we are. Our faith is what makes us strong, ain't that right?

Our differences is what makes us so compatible :)

2011-09-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

"Just as a body,though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is withCHRIST."

(1 Corinthians 12)

Matured ways.

2011-09-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

So, I finally went to school after 3 long weeks not going. It has been such an unforgettable experience. Funny how many great moments can be achieved in only 3 weeks time. My friends in school was like, "Wow, you changed. So much." I guess that's a good thing. I've been telling myself to change and not be so immature like how I used to be. Less playing around during service. I just have to accept the fact I'm not a kid anymore. Chrishe used to say, "Dah besar tak boleh main2 lagi oh." - true that.

Friday is already Leadership Camp. Time flies -that fast. New batch coming, new people, new environment. Nationals coming up too. We only have 2 weeks to practice. That means, skipping classes again. Broadway's coming up too. 3 more months for the year to close the curtain. Wow, when I look back, when did all the stuff ever happened? Cause it all happened so freaking fast that if you blink, you'll miss every sight of the journey.

But still, I thank God for everything regardless the things people say about Him, I'm in love with Him :)

Happy Birthday, Ma.

2011-09-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

Mother,sweet Mother of mine.

why do you run?

2011-09-06T05:15:00.000-07:00

I know you, I know you

Even when you're feeling down; when your friends are not around.

Why do you have to run from me, why do you have to run?

Why do you have to walk away when every things been done?

Why do you have to run from me, why do you have to run?

Why do you have to walk away from me when every things been done, for you.

I love you, I love you

Even though you're feeling down,

when your friends are not around; I am here.

Come with me and take my hands,

I'm with you and I'm your Man; just know I love you.

-Chris Padgett.

2011-09-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

1 year, 5 months and 15 days.

Do not worry;

I know we'll get through all these.

Jesus Culture.

2011-09-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Hope Youth Rally, finally happened. You know that melancholy feeling? Yes, kinda having that right now. You know it's going to be the end, well not really, but we'll spend lesser time together. Bleh.. Aite so, the rally. Well I kinda wanna start with the competition first. The Bible & Faith quiz, Scripture Memory and the Drama were held on Monday. Adeline and I had our first time experience as the timekeeper, and after that we thought, well, everybody's gonna hate us cause we kept shouting "Time's up!" before they could answer. Haha, yea I think they did hate our guts. Anyways, Miri sapu all the prizes. Congrats! Bintulu 2nd, and Limbang 3rd. Everyone did great.

That morning, I went straight to the pool area and I heard voices so I peeked. And there were Clinton and his team and few of MYCS members with Fr. John Gerth; one of the speakers for the rally, a really sporting priest from Southern America. Never thought he would be that friendly. He was making jokes and everybody laughed and I just didn't get it, and he looked at me and he was like, "you don't get it, do you?" And I was like, "nuh-uh." So he went to me and gave me this big giant hug cause he's kinda huge, and said "you're special, kiddo." And everyone went, "AWWWWW." and I was so..teary? Haha, he's awesome.

Rally started the next day. Chris Padgett; Fr. John said he's not the people type, well he was! He was so hilarious and weird. In a good way tho. Great voice indeed. Wow. Fr. John, well, another hilarious guy too. The two of them like to pick on each other. Like, Fr. John learned this malay word; dia gila. Chris didn't know what that means, so he kept saying that word to us while Chris at the back not knowing why were we laughing. It was hilarious. But what touched my heart, was what they said and taught and the stories they shared. I remembered a sentence from Fr. John, "I don't want to be remembered, I want the message of Jesus Christ to be remembered." - how true is that?

These three weeks, I wasn't in school at all and not that it really mattered because I grew closer in my faith and most importantly, to Jesus. Seriously, this could probably be the best three weeks of my life. No, this is the best three weeks of my life. Wow, Jesus is awesome.

"Your love never fails; never gives up.

Never runs out on me."

Christ's Ambassador.

2011-08-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

Just came back from the World Youth Day event in Spain. It wasn't a walk in the park at all, before you begin any thought. It was more of a sacrifice; giving up everything for the glory of His. Spent 5 days in Spain and a day in London. T'was really, an awesome trip. Though it's cliche to say awesome, but really, it WAS awesome. I lost verbs, actually. ;D It's like, we're attending the LSS and the only difference is, it's at Spain so, yeap. Met a lot of other people from different countries from all around the globe. Whenever we passed by each other, we'll greet "Hola!" It's either that, or we'll exchange things from our country with theirs. I have a cute lovely tiny pin from a Canadian from the place where we stayed. Ooh, speaking of that, our accommodation was at an elementary school named "Colegio Infenta Elena". It was summer holiday, so there's no classes going on. We slept on the floor and bathed outside. Like, in a tent and inside it was a shower. And the crucial part was the water. It's freezing cold like ice water. Every morning, we had to shower in it and it's like knives stabbing you. It WAS THAT extreme. Anyhow, we survived so yup. Then there was that one night where we stayed over in an aerodorm which is the size of 8 football fields. We slept on a sandy ground with tiny stones on it. Yet again, we survived. The most important part was, Pope was there. I have a lot to share but there's too much and it'll take ages.

Glad everything's fine. Though there's obstacles we had to go through, like I said, we survived. And it's all 'cause of Him. We didn't come all the way to Spain just to have fun, eventually we learnt something there. Something that best of the best teacher could never taught us; something to bring back home for us to be a good leader like Jesus was. A team we are, and a team we'll be.

Next stop, Youth Rally; We. Can. Do. It. , I know right? ;D

2011-08-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

You know you're in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye.

Till we meet again, love.

2011-08-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Capt.,

I do and always will

til' the day the pigs

can finally fly.

Tracy A.J

shred.

2011-07-31T03:32:00.000-07:00

The rhythm of the wind, sending whisper to my ear; a sound as delicate as summer haze,

I whirled around to the sound knowing I have no worries as long as I have this dance.

Knowing that there is something I could do best.

Knowing that there's no eyes looking, no lips speaking;

no judgement made.

I feel peace. Devastated in the heart, but I feel peace.

Every heart ache speaks through my every step.

I feel peace when I looked at the sun.

I feel peace that I cried.

this is why i love writing,

when every emotion can just be let through words but not as completely.

________________________________________________________

it's easy to be me, is clearly an understatement.

so, just shut up.

nobody really likes to see that pie hole of yours.

utopia.

2011-07-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

weeheeheeheeeheeeeeeee! (sorry that was stupid) Anyways.. life's good, so far. No, it's not just good, it's a freaking bed of roses. Well, not completely the rose petals form in the whole picture but those thorns that actually complete the image. Great, now I'm speaking in metaphor. Do forgive me, for that.

School sucks. And people would say, "no it doesn't.. you get to see your friends and.." Now hold it right there. High school sucks, admit it. There are moments when we had fun and stuffs, but underneath it all, we all hate school. When was the last time you have Monday blues every single day, not just Monday? And when was the last time you snuggle in your blanket early morning and cling onto it like your life depends on it? That's right, there was never "last time". Cause you do it every freaking weekdays.

But I don't blame school for that. We made it sucks. Ouch, the truth hurts.

Sometimes, I don't think they're humans.

Nobody could put up with people like us chung hua-ians.

But somehow they manage to.

And that, I'm saying with my hats off, how awesome they are.

I failed my exam. I suck. But there's too much going on right now. I need to press pause for a while and then, starts opening book and cramming in a healthy way, then press play again. That's all I really need now. I wanna be a doctor. Cause doctors, are pretty cool ain't they? *grins* There are just too many things I wanna do in the future or possibly after graduation. Sure, I'll take my A-levels then I'll go to Med schools and then graduate and work. Side works? Writing and photography are both freaking cool works to do too. Reading a heck lots of novels had inspired me to write. Plus, the only subject I earn an A+ all the time is English. And teachers said I should be writing in the future. And I've been learning photography through Frisco. An awesome freelance photographer and also Brother Jimmy. Gosh, they're awesome. The only people who ever gonna lend me their cool gadgets. The only gadget I have, is a compact camera. And believe me, I'm grateful for it. By this time, I can pick up a few steps in this business. I finally know what ISO and stuffs like that. Great ain't it?

Let's step back to reality. Tracy, finish that freaking SPM first.

2011-07-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

TRUCE?

yes? oh great then.

The Silent Scream.

2011-07-21T01:04:00.001-07:00

even with this simple prayer,

my heart feels the peace when everything seems to not go the way I would have wanted.

what i really need to say right now, but i'm just too afraid.

2011-07-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

I've got something inside of me

Something that needs to be heard

Deep down a voice is guiding me

In an a motion that's stirred

Why have I let others lead the way?

When all along I know what it is I want to say

Whatever it is I'll do it

I'm the answer to your prayers

Whatever you want stop looking

Nobody else compares

Whatever you've seen before

I'll give you so much more

You'll be totally impressed

I'm New York's Best Kept Secret

I thought I had a perfect plan

But I would wind up on top

One day I'm thinking Yes I can!

Next thing you know I'm a flop.

Why did I have to play this silly game?

I've got to shake up who he is

And stage my plan

What if I missed my window?

What if I blew my shot?

But what the only chance I was going to get

I already got.

I'm all ready to the page until

I'm on stage in a show!

So nobody move, I've got something to prove!

Don't you know?

2011-07-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

-Mother Teresa

What If.

2011-07-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And if you didn't, I hope one day that you will.

True that.

future someone :)

2011-07-08T03:31:00.000-07:00

you give me premature ventricular contractions.

I want to..

2011-07-07T23:25:00.000-07:00

be there for his first step.

give her hope.

let her know that I care.

give her the strength she needs to move on.

help her stand right back on her own two feet.

get her ready for the world when she opens her eyes for the first time.

let her know she's beautiful no matter what they say.

assure her that it ain't gonna be any pain.

be the one that saves lives.

so close but still so far.

2011-07-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

In one of the sessions in English lesson, everyone talked about their grandparents. But I, dont have any. And it brought me all the way back to here;

I spent my childhood holidays going back to my village. It's very rural, had to cross the longest river in Sarawak. It's a longhouse, as a matter of fact. When we arrived there, I would jump off from the boat and ran all the way from the wooden bridge to the backyard where grandma would be picking up those peppers she regretted she ever planted. Back then, she was this witty, young-spirited lady that you never expect from someone at her age. She has these brown eyes that when you looked into them, you couldn't help but feel peace and every chaos in your life is no longer there. Grandpa left her when my mom was twelve. She raised all her twelve kids on her own. Every time I spent my holidays in the village, I never missed a chance to be with her. I couldn't wait for school holidays just so I could see her. I would wake up before the sun even rises to go to the rubber estate with her. Then we would fed all the animals. We would cook together. She taught me how to cook rice with firewood. We would do a lot of stuffs together each time I go there until mom received a phone call one day from my aunt who lived with grandma. She told mom that grandma fell down the hill while picking up the peppers. I took a school leave, mom straight booked the tickets and all of us went there. Turned out, she has alzheimer. She forgot everything. What hurt more, she forgot who I was. Due to the fall, she can't even walk anymore. She lied down in her bedroom every single day. I sat beside her listening to her rambling about things. My tears will fall each time. When I fed her, when I gave her a bath, even when she slept. One day when I woke up, she hadn't. And the next few hours, still, she hadn't woken up. And then I realized. She's.. gone.

Although she's gone without knowing who I was, I never forget to remember her.

21st.

2011-07-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

i love you too, captain :)

No Jesus, No Peace; Know Jesus, Know Peace.

2011-07-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

Let nothing trouble you; let nothing frighten you.

Everything passes; but God never changes.

Whoever has God; wants for nothing.

Patience obtains all;

God is ENOUGH.

- credits to the awesomest Bob Rice.

Through It All.

2011-07-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

When winter comes in summer,

When there's no more forever,

When lies become the truth,

That's when I'll stop loving you.

2011-07-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

you're my best childhood friend too :)

2011-07-01T03:43:00.000-07:00

This could be one of the best weeks ever. Having sports carnival this whole week. Took part in netball and going to final this next Wednesday. Hooray!! Gah, I really miss the all-about-sports me. Used to be in sports in primary school for all years until I went to high school and somehow, I just stopped and just joined the indoor activities; for 3 years. And now, well, I figure since next year is my senior year, why not come back to sports?

Now it's all balanced, finally. With a 'lil bit of the girls' scout spirit, and a mixture of performing arts and adding a quarter pinch of sports. I am finally, well, ME.

p/s: we shall start all over again. :)

This Man,

2011-06-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

is awesome.

"It is awesome to be me." - Diary of A Wimpy Kid

2011-06-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

Ah, weekday is great, don't you think? *sarcastic tone* Haha. Luckily there's no training for netball today 'cause I'll go crazy if there is. With studies and stuff, give me a break. Gah D: Add Maths tuition after this and I just feel like blogging. Haven't been in sports for quite a long time. Perhaps it's a comeback? LOL. Looking forward to the competition though. Yay!!

I have some serious problems in dealing with tv. That square box just couldn't stop tempting me. My studies are going down.. Gah, again, give me break. I need to stop all these. I'm not a genious or a study freak or a nerd or whatever you wanna call it. I'm just.. well, not used to having flunked my exam for so many times already. It just feels so not.. me.

......

I'm so asian.

2011-06-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

Flower, tux and central park?

You kidding me. Right?

:)

2011-06-26T02:42:00.000-07:00

"You're the only one I never lied to in my whole entire life and really, I just don't know why."

2011-06-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

You know what really sucks falling for a guy you know you're not right for?

You fall anyway because you think he might turn out to be different.

Glory to Glory.

2011-06-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

Meekness and majesty
In humbleness You came down and rescued me
You gave it all upon the cross
As an offering

You traded Your life for me
In righteousness You poured out Your love so free
And now my soul will worship You
As an offering

We come into Your presence now in awe
Casting all our crowns at Your feet
How wonderful the things that You have done
Forever You will reign glorious

Be lifted up from glory to glory to glory
We offer up the praises that You deserveYou're changing us from glory to glory to glory
Our lives will shine before and shout Your worth

You're GLORIOUS

Back to the root.

2011-06-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

I. AM. BACK.

I mean like, not here. But back to being my old self. Just like what a friend of mine said, I'm back to being alone again.Well, not really alone but.. oh well, you get what I mean. Now, I am back to being that girl who would spend her night doing school works and stuff. Back to being that girl whose phone is not for texting but for listening to music only. And that girl who reads Jane Eyre alone in the room on Friday night while her friends are out enjoying themselves. Yep, I am that girl again. And I gotta say, I miss being that girl. I really do.

A friend once said to me, SINGLE is not a status; it just shows that you are strong enough to not depend on anyone and that you are strong enough to wait for the right one. I couldn't agree more.

And to all the single ladies out there, don't think that nobody wants you.

God is just busy writing our love story. :)

they deserve it more than i do.

2011-06-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

see the smile?

this inspires me, a lot.

although they are being discriminated in this world,

they still can curve their mouth as wide.

and we, complaining about everything, for what?

I should smile like her, only that, I can't beat that smile.

i do remember..

2011-06-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

The time that you danced with me,

when no music playing.

2011-06-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, you.